We sat through a lot of crap this year. Here's the worst of it.
2012 was a big year for certain movies, but it was also a year in which we saw some real turd burglars make their way to the screen, with very little explanation behind them. It was tough picking ten, especially considering the fact that there were those we absolutely refused to devote time to, like the nauseating family comedy Parental Guidance or the hideously badly timed A Thousand Words. We wouldn't touch those with a free rental code.
So here now are the ten worst that we DID put up with this year, and you can tell we've suffered enough. Here goes!
10. Resident Evil: Retribution
A lot of people thought that The Expendables 2 was an intolerable sequel. But compared to this mush, it was like MacBeth. The fifth (and hopefully last) Resident Evil film features Milla Jovovich once again stylishly battling Umbrella forces, with very little to explain the plot, nor the presence of familiar characters like Ada Wong and Leon Kennedy. Even Michelle Rodriguez comes back to reprise her role – and she's dead! Lifeless and poorly implemented in 3D, Resident Evil: Retribution is a big waste of cash.
9. The Watch
What could've been an ideal bro comedy, built around a genius plot involving invading aliens that harvest up in a local Costco-like store, instead folds into complete idiocy. The Watch wastes a rather game cast – Ben Stiller, Jonah Hill, Vince Vaughn – with a script that leans too heavily on insults and moments that just don't make sense, including a "can't conceive" plot line that goes nowhere fast and laughs that come at the expense – all too often – of sex jokes. This one's left off undiscovered.